Long Time No Chat!

Wow, it has been three days shy of a year since I have made a blog post. I remember that day, and it wasn’t anything special..other than it being Friday and we love weekends over here.

I had finally perfected my spicy margarita recipe and put it out for all of you to enjoy. I remember taking the photos in my freshly remodeled kitchen next the prettiest tulips ( my favorite springtime flower) with the sting of the jalapeños still on my lips. Cody and I enjoyed a few of these margs that evening while the boys played car wash with all their monster trucks. It was a normal day for us just as the next 11 days would prove to be.

However, twelve days after that post, on April 8th, 2020 I lost my brother. I remember everything about that day…my phone vibrating off the bathroom counter into the sink as it rang, the stinging of the tears on my dry skin, I was wearing one of my favorite long sleeve workout tops..it was orange..with thumb holes. I remember squeezing my fists so tight through said thumb holes as I made the urgent call telling my husband he needed to come home immediately, and I am still not sure he could even understand me through the screaming and crying.

The drive to where my brother was was the longest but fastest 8 minutes I have ever driven. I remember the jolting feeling in my knees as my feet pounded the pavement beneath me as I ran into the arms of our family, some of which I hadn’t seen in months. You see…My brother always had a knack for trying to get everyone together, and without sounding insensitive, he really outdid himself this one last time.

Which basically brings me to the purpose of this post, and to explain why I haven’t been here in almost a year. It took me a few months to somewhat turn things around, to finally have some week long stretches of not being bogged down with both grief and guilt, and to even begin to feel a sense of normalcy.

I’ll be honest… It was a dark year for my mental health, something my brother struggled deeply with as well, and I did everything I could to try and hide it not only from myself but everyone around me as well.

I chose to cut ties with people I had spent a majority of my life with, which to this day still hurts my heart and played a major role in my issues in 2020, but it is for the best. I chose to take my brothers death as a very harsh reality check. I knew I needed to live my life, because he was no longer living his…and let me tell you that kid LIVED. HIS. LIFE. So thats what I did..and I will admit..to this day I am still envious of his adventurous spirit and his love for literally every person he met..but I’m working on being the same.

That being said, I will be easing my way back into this platform because I miss it. I can’t promise things will be the exact same, but I will do my best to bring you quality content. Wether that be a silly story about my boys, a yummy recipe, the latest sale on our favorite TB millers, a bomb ass cocktail, or even an occasional emotional post.. I’ll be here to share with whoever wants to listen.

Thank you for following along, supporting me through the toughest year of my life, and if you’re new here.. WELCOME..or as Evan would say.. Aloha Ohana!